How did it happen?

So.

Aside from this whole Valerie Plame thing (which is HUGE) I'm doing fine politically...

Otherwise...
I'm stage managing a (VERY) ametuer production of Merrily We Roll Along by Stephen Sonehiem and George Furth this weekend. The production sucks. It is so poorly directed I think I want to vomit. It looks like an MTS Fall Musical, which is funny because the director and the lead are both Emerson grads (class of '98).
Example: today I told the orchestra that the keyboards were too quiet and that they needed to boost the volume. They did, and the show sounded 100000% better. Then at intermission, this Emerson grad complained, saying he felt like he was straining his voice to compete with the volume of the orchestra. I thought: "you are such an Emerson grad. Ego so high you have to say to me 'the orchestra is competeing with my performance.'" Fact is: he WASN'T straining, and we could hear the singers over the orchestra any day of the week.
ANYWAY: This show has got me in a strange mindset. If you know the show, you know about the nostalgia inherent in the script. The plot runs backward in time, forever asking: "How did you ever get to be here?" It is the story of some inseparable college friends who write musicals and go through life. One by one they lose each other, till the last one is about to commit suicide. But, it's told backward so we start with the suicide attempt and end with bright-eyed, cheery friends ready to take on the world.
WHAT THE FUCK?! That's where I am now!
Where will I be in 30 years? Will I be happy with my life? Or will I be so upset with what a shell it's become that I attempt to end it all?

I think this show is fucking with my head...

Cigarettes Smoked Today: 3